Fire Alarm..spelt.. F.A.R.T Alarm!

Recently the fire alarm in our floor building went up. I was surfing as usual and this incredibly recurrent violent screeches of sound basically shook the otherwise dormant ambience of the floor. One of our oversized employees grabbed his bag and started running across our polished corridors slipping and sliding through the corners. I was surprised, i mean was i supposed to act concerned..ok where's the damn fire exit?
Five days later.. the alarm goes up again. i stop writing...........................................call up the security office.................................................ask him to switch the damn thing off.........................................and get back to writing again with lingering pyromaniacal tendencies in my head!

Brain dead presentation!

Squeezing in months of work and putting it forth in a simplistic manner is more harder than redoing the entire work! Basically the guy before me had put the audience to sleep and I went out there to rock the cradle and make things a tad more comfortable. I even offered a blanket for them to cuddle into feeling more like an air-hostess waiting to make an announcement in the business class of an airplane.
How can you possibly make "A unified approach to a unit-selection framework for ultra low bit rate speech coders " sound poetic? I frankly don't know. I tried and discovered about a dozen ways one can fumble in crunch situations like these.
Novelty ? Err novelty of my system hmmm how do i put this.. Its this seemeless way of arriving at low-bit rates using a constrained one pass DP algorithm in a unit-selection framework that favours run length coding! Thats it.. as simple as that. You can now vow to never visit this blog again.
Here's a bunch of stuff i think one might find useful before a presentation
-> No peanuts! I'm reiterating!
-> No pseudo-confidence.. the kind you get after watching "Fight Club"
-> Try avoiding eye contact with the guy sleeping. As discouraging as it may sound you can probably console yourself with the fact that he finds your talk so intellectually amusing that he wishes to dream about it too! Even before it's over.
-> If you spot one person shaking his head in agreement with what you just mentioned do not punish him for the rest of the presentation by speaking fiercely only to him ignoring the rest.
-> Do not put that thought evoking face to dodge questions, promptly admit you don't know when you don't!
-> Wear comfortable pants. Not that old piece of a sole formal pant you just found in the attic that now fits your nephew.
Presentation can be quiet a .... I learnt it the hard way.

Music

Music I recommend or don't recommend (Not in any particular order):

Tom Petty: When you are feeling happy for no particular reason
Coldplay: For all moods.! Yep trust me
Audioslave: To cool off after the miserable hour you just spent being forced to watch FRIENDS by your little sister
Yanni: The fastest way to loose your libido! For those of you who think his music is soothing..the man BEATS his wife!
Greenday: Its a lyrical splendor! Give me novocain...!
Bryan Adams: Give me poison!
U2: Good driving music.
Elton John: Must avoid while driving. (He's probably the cause of many road accidents and there should be a law against his music on radios just as there is against drunk driving!
The Who: Wattaa name!
Rammstein: Your mum didn't warn you?
Steve Wonder: Girlfriend hasn't left you yet?
Simon and Garfunkle aka Simon Uncle and Garfukar
Alan Parsons Project: Good music, band named after the inventors of the world-destroying laser beam, noted cambridge physicist Dr.Parson and Mr.Alan as referred to by Austin Powers in "The Spy who Shioked Charlie's angels"
Duran Duran: Yettanotherrreason why BRIT ROCK rocks!
Papa Roach: Paranormal Tendencies breeder.
Kate Bush : A recent music interest, a friend recommended. For those of you who like janis joplin, sheryl crow, Alanis morisette .. give her a shot.
Pearl Jam: Most of their songs are hard to forget (they're about one to two words) and they're outstanding.
KISS: Their live acts are staggering. A must watch for the stage show afficionados!