The fall

doesn't hurt half as much as what I'm having to endure sitting here at home....
Old grandmas suggesting everything from strange rituals to voo-doo.... im having half a mind to shoot a 'Blair Witch Project" sequel as a friend suggested

Thick skinned proud cousin: in a bragging tone: ...Ah ur knee eh? .. I had a fall too, much more gory.. was in a car with a buddy of mine.. we fumbled through a divider and flew past it to land in some bush.. my back side has been numb ever since....
me: erm, wait till my knee heals and I shall drill %$#@ it and wake it up...
Aunt #1 : Your uncle fell of the ladder too.. he was trying to check the water-level in the tank..
me: Yes aunty.. he should have realised that he was overweight and ordered for a crane with a hook to have him air lifted...
Aunt # 2 : Drink lots of apple juice... lots and lots of it..
me: how bout beer?
The uncle who fell off the ladder : You should keep wiggling your toes.. dont keep it still for long..
me: yes uncle i can do that ... in fact i can even lift the middle toe resting the others.... see...
Aunt # 3: when did he fall? huuhhh what?? amavasya is not good at all...
me : next time i shall judicially plan my fall aunty
Aunt # 4: you should rotate an egg thrice around him and throw it in the street corner... it will drive away the bad omens he might have brought home...
me: how about going to the kitchen and boiling it for me?
grandma with the voo-doo fixation : all sons fall at this age... they will invariably break a bone or two...
me: hmm... profound
Uncle married to the egg-loving god fearing aunt and who works for NDTV : Where did you fall? which bike? when did this happen? how? who was with you? how many were there? were u drinking? is there a reasonable explanation to all this?
me: far from home....a big one....about a month ago...some friends...not many...dont think.....dont think
Somebody send me a bottle of vodka home.... please